Tag: conservation

Seeing in Color

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I swore that I would come to Atlas Coffee to just read this morning. But alas, my laptop was in my backpack by accident. I will still read. But I have to write first.

You’d think I’d be out of creative juice by now, but no. Because today, I am seeing in color for the first time in so long. Don’t get me wrong. Over the last 5 months I have had many incredible moments in nature. I have had so many amazing experiences along the way keep myself afloat as I edited The Last Shark. And I am not done yet, but I have turned the corner. I turned in the picturelock version to the composers last night. The Director, Frankie, who will be repping at the Premiere and other South Africa screenings, just landed in Capetown this morning. It’s hitting hard that this is a reality, that we have made it.

But back to seeing in color…as I pondered what drink to order at Atlas Coffee here in Charlottesville VA, I realized I was actually looking at the world around me. There is a thing that happens to you as you begin a project of this scope. There is a massive weight that settles upon you that will not lift until the work is nearly complete. It’s a wholly unique weight and no other work I have done comes close to how awful it feels.

I am reminded of a conversation I had with a wonderful guy named John Kim. John has since died, but he and I were in touch way back in my first heady days of film making. The very first project I ever did, he watched it while we were on a phone call and gave me feedback. He also shared his process of how awful it feels at the beginning of a project, how you are under this overwhelming cloud. John also worked in the big leagues. Editing for TV shows and outlets you would all recognize. He reported to me how, in his field, that he would create this beautiful and intuitively led edit…only to have it then chopped up and dumbed down by studio execs. He hated it. He felt like it was the death of creativity. But he seemed to live for the edits that he got to do and just found ways to live with how the higher ups were going to shave it down to a nub. That reminds me of how appreciative I am that on all the projects I have worked on, I have never had to do what John did. And he told me that. He told me to stay in the areas where I would not have to compromise the art for the profit. I have stayed true to that so far.

We talked about coming out of the haze, when you know you have wrangled a story out of the disparate globs. So today I am seeing in color. And I would have written to John to tell him about how glad I am to not have had to compromise. This project has been all volunteer and you get something wholly different out of a movie when profit is literally not a part of it. Everyone gives their best and they don’t feel compromised. It’s pretty fantastic. Money always has a cost. Essentially that’s at the heart of every conservation movie and lived experience.

Another thing I was reflecting upon was something Jay Siebold said to me just the other day. Jay is my sound guy for many projects. He heard about how many hours I was putting in and was like “hey man don’t underestimate how that amount of screentime will fuck you up”. In all honesty, I would say that I finished the hard parts just as I was hitting that very tipping point. I was starting to mindblank in the middle of spoken sentences, I was seeing things in my peripheral vision…it was definitely starting to impact my health. Ironically though I lost weight while working on the movie lol. I always had a standing workstation. So at the end of the day I would have stood for 12 hours while editing without a break. Mentally though, I was starting to decline for sure.

So today as I waited for my dirty hot chocolate order today I looked out and noticed birds, colors, people, cars, clouds, leaves and I realized how much, over the last 5 months that I have looked…but I wasn’t really seeing. The cloud is gone. It’s wild. I feel like running through the streets and shouting! It’s really fucking fantastic.

I am also here at Atlas this morning because I promised myself, while staying here in Charlottesville, that I would return to this coffee shop on a cool Fall morning. I made that promise to myself back in 2019. I drove by this spot my first time ever in this town. I was in the car, likely with mom and dad. I would have been driving. And we were on our way to one of the first consultations at UVA’s Cancer Clinic for mom. I recall so pristinely seeing this tiny taxi sized coffee shop off to the right. The windows fogged up from condensation so thickly I could not see inside. I only went in there once back in 2019. This place has seating for literally 6 people. That’s it! I had no place to sit back then, so I left- but vowed to rectify the situation. This morning, I literally woke up singing. Lighter. And the air was worth a hat and coat. The windows aren’t fogged but I am here to drink coffee and read a book for a while.

No more humble bragging about how much work there is to do on the timeline. I feel like I am just now realizing there is an entire world out here and wow. It’s a paradox right? You go head down into this narrow and isolated path, away from people, away from the world…in order to focus hard enough to make a movie that will impact people and the world around you. So strange. But so worth it-if you don’t take it too far. But also, you have to have a team of people around you. No movie is made alone. For me, my team was Frankie. I could never have made this movie without Frankie’s energy and enthusiasm and laughter. What also sustained me though was the 24 people who’s interviews I was editing and reading over and over and over and over. I have about 24 hours of interviews from shark conservationists locked into memory forever. And their dedication, up there on my screen, and in the pages of transcripts, kept me fired up for the project when I was struggling with the next steps…and event that happened nearly every day.

I don’t know how long it will be until I have the inner strength to muster another movie like this. It’s going to take a while til I feel full strength again. But yeah…at the end of the day, this movie is something I am immensely proud of.

Me and Joshua Slocum

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Today’s post is written from the Starbucks in Freeport Maine. I didn’t want to come into town. My perfect perch right along the sleepy bay covered with swirls of white and black stone with hair and beard made of seaweed didn’t want me to leave. But it’s June 5th in Maine and raining constantly and…it’s only 51 degrees.

Things are getting rather damp inside of my tent! I needed to dry out and send a few emails. I also needed to update this website blog as to where things are.

Today’s post is specifically inspired by Joshua Slocum and his sailing sloop, the Spray. I knew I’d be stuck inside my tent for my whole stay, based on the weather reports. So I went to the local bookshop and picked up something, anything, to do with the ocean. I didn’t want something serious. After spending the entire last month focussing on editing 14 episodes (Spoiler Alert: I finished!!) of a podcast related to some difficult environmental topics, I just wanted something escapist to read. I also came to the coast of Maine to be near where salmon used to thrive. I wanted to put my feet in the water in a place connected to where they should be, as a reminder of why I do what I do. So a good book about the ocean seemed fitting. This terrible and good passion (Salmonfolk) has taken me over it seems and I do need time to rejuvenate and a sense of place is important. I put my feet in the cold Maine water and think “salmon need to return here” and thought about how much we don’t even know what they brought with them, when they were here: The sense of returning. The promise of the long view. The long count. All things sorely missing in modern society.

I digress. Sorry. I do that a lot. Slocum…that guy solo sailed around the entire globe in the late 1880s in a boat about 35 feet long. I read in my tent late into last night, sleeping back damp, my feet just wouldn’t dry out…the rain hammered, I could hear the ocean gurgling around the large blocks of stone on the shore nearby. I wondered a lot how Joshua and The Spray were probably never quite dry either. Man…what an adventure. He was also 51 years old when he set out. I am 51 and setting out on this strange adventure. I am houseless. I do petsitting currently to keep my costs super low so any money I make can go straight towards conservation work, Salmonfolk and a few other side projects. I go where the long term housesitting gigs are up and down the East Coast of the USA. It also makes it so that IF I ever get real funding to travel and interview and film then I can go.

Reading through this book made me feel a bit better. I love what I do but yeah…doing a thing you don’t see anyone else doing (living houseless to focus on saving salmon) can be a lonely thing. I will now just pretend I am at the helm of The Spray when feeling out of sorts. However I will make sure to not take Slocum’s other journey…after he returned from sailing around the globe, he later headed for the Orinoco River and never was seen from again. Noted: I will avoid the Orinoco.

So the cat is out of the bag! Yes. I finished!!!!

It feels so amazing to have hit my high water mark for the project. I gave myself one month to finish Season One and I made it with about 24 hours to spare before I had to move to my next house. What is next for me? Now I shift into the zone of seeking funding for the sound design and sound mastering that is critical to making this podcast the best it can be. I have an amazing Sound guy, Jay Siebold. And he produced the existing 5 episodes you can hear on any podcast app but if you don’t have a fave app (or any) then you can easily listen HERE So I will be now be working on securing those essential funds. I have to tell you though…these remaining 14 episodes are just…just!!! I can’t. It’s too hard to describe. You will just have to listen!

Meanwhile, in case you haven’t heard enough from me, here is one more episode from Youtube that I think will interest those of you who wonder how I do the work.

Extending Residency

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Today has been…phew…what has it been? On top of being creative in all sorts of other ways, I am, most unfortunately, also a writer. Not like a famous writer. No no. I assure you. I am the worst kind of writer. I am the kind who has to write in order to process things. It’s like a curse. Always having to write to figure things out. Grab some coffee, this is gonna take a minute.

First of all I like to listen to Kpop when I write. Also you will probably enjoy reading this more if you turn off your punctuation and grammar filter.

Right now I am listening to “EXO 엑소 ‘으르렁 (Growl)’ MV (Korean Ver.)” You are welcome for that link. Enjoy.

Okay so…the podcast. Right? The whole big thing I have set aside this month for. From April 30th-June 4th I had (notice the past tense usage there) set aside this time to finish Season One of Salmonfolk Radio. The remaining content beyond the 5 episodes already released has been languishing on hard drives. Some of that content has been dusting over since 2018…some of it newer content from 2021. I have good reasons for why so much dust but that’s not the point of this post. I am only looking forward.

I know when I am onto something good. I know when I am in possession of something that changes people’s lives. I am not bragging because I am not talking about myself. I am talking about the people who gave their time to me. To be blunt, they are brilliant human beings. These are people you need to know about. They are just looking at the intersection of the natural world and global capitalism and human nature in such relatable and unusual ways. I am so humbled that they spent time with me, a relative stranger (and my cameras and mics) towards the cause of getting fish farms out of the water.

Most of the material I have gone over since April 30th is material I have not heard since the day it was recorded-in 2018. And it’s just…GOD…it’s SO good!! I had no idea until now. I had forgotten how rich it all is. I find myself thinking “holy shit…people need to know about this!”

I have Episodes 6-8 done! I am not releasing any of the new episodes though until I have full funding for sound mastering. So done…but sorta not quite done. My side of the job at least is done there. I am working on Episode 9. I think Season One will end up having about 16 episodes. And everyone dang one of them worth your time.

I have been a veteran now of many enviro campaigns. I have interviewed so many other long haul enviro folks. They all have one thing in common: longevity. It takes years or even decades to make change happen.

I look at the calendar and see June 4th looming-and I know that’s not long enough.

I also know that after June 4th I currently have no idea where I will be living. Money isn’t awful. I have some small amount in savings and I have some very small side jobs trickling in. To keep my costs down, so that I can run off my savings for as long as possible, I am housesitting and petsitting. It’s how I can afford to do what I am doing this month.

I can mostly finish Season One by June 4th…(minus the sound design and mastering) but that is not what it takes to have this podcast be heard by enough change makers. What I need is time for these things to happen:

  1. How to best market and gain listenership for a podcast that has global implications. Seeking someone who has experience connecting with larger players in the world of podcasting.
  2. How to best approach companies for sponsorships, build alliances. This podcast has interviews with fisherman, eco philosophers, scientists and activists from around the world. A lot of outdoor brands I think would want to be a part of the positive messaging. Oh..and it’s also a travelogue, so lots of outdoorsy explorations.
  3. Finding fiscal sponsors for this ocean conservation work so I can attract more donations.
  4. Network with fish farm fighters around the globe.
  5. Tie in the online world wide premiere of Being Salmon Being Human the movie on 11/3/2023.

My current dedicated $$ on hand? $0

My current committment to making all this work happen? 100%

Without an investment made in time spent, Salmonfolk Radio will not be able to do the work it needs to do.

I need longer than a month to make this all happen.

My plan now is to keep this “conservationist in residency” mission going for longer. My kids are grown. I am single. I am relatively healthy (no serious health care costs currently). I have a working car that is paid off. I have nearly zero debt. I am going to continue housesitting and petsitting gigs at least until the end of August. I just locked in a gig that will last most of August. Now to fill in June 15th til July 26th somewhere on the East Coast.

It’s kind of a big deal for me to let go of applying for “real” jobs…to hope that this all works out and I don’t end up broke.

It means not having employer sponsored health care. But when I consider the opposite of this…that is how the world doesn’t change. When we are all on that wheel of having to have the job, having to pay the rent, having to live that way and have those jobs that just don’t make anything of actual value—we unmake the world that we don’t have time to value any longer. And eventually it will be gone. So I am sort of jumping off into really embracing trying to do this differently. I am, for however long that I can, trying to restory my role here.

I am not special. There are thousands of people, probably millions, who would absolutely dedicate themselves to doing similar work. But this isn’t the kind of “work” that our culture values with $$. I just happen be free enough in my life, right now, where I can attempt this approach.

Well thanks for listening to my TedTalk. #rantover.

If you would like to help me stay on this path here is my Patreon.

Here is a screenshot of Episode 8’s timeline after I was done today!

New Video Series

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Something I have also been doing while on my residency in VT is making a series of videos related to saving Bolin Creek. I tried to wrap it all up before my Salmonfolk month began but I didn’t quite make it. It’s okay though. I made the time. I had to, because the notion to pave along Bolin Creek keeps coming up. I won’t go into all the details here because I am tired and have been editing Salmonfolk Radio Episode 8 while also trying to figure out where on Earth I am going to live next after I leave my current housesitting gig on June 4th lol.

I am just stopping by to drop this link https://bolinforestclimateaction.org/videos/

All the videos on that new website about saving Bolin Forest are ones that I put together. It’s always tempting to stop there…with the words “the ones that I put together”. But we all stand on other’s shoulders. All of our knowledge and hopefully some wisdom, usually is on loan from those who came before us. I don’t have a video if I don’t have an interview subject. All the ideas that I worked into the video series you see there, all came from locals who worked hard to acquire their knowledge. There is also deep institutional knowledge about the topic that only folks who have been around for decades can bring to bear. I am the one that synthesizes and streamlines all that into a single video or three…but when working with non-profits…on an important cause, I find that I get to see that village that everyone keeps saying is required.

I am quite proud to have been able to make videos that the group felt strongly enough about to place on their website. I hope the vids make a difference in the fight to Keep Bolin Creek Wild.

Screenshot of a portion of the page below:

Switching Over to Conservation

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To support my podcasting for conservation work then check out my Patreon!

September 6, 2021 was the last time I published an episode of Salmonfolk Radio, my podcast that is a critical part of Salmonfolk. This was not the last episode of the podcast, but it was the last time I had the energy, space/creativity/mindset required to work on this. What happened after September 6th that has so delayed more episodes? I was a full time caregiver for my father then. In November of 2021 Dad moved into a retirement community. I was tasked with and sold the family house. I dealt with massive amounts of accumulated “stuff” my parents had in tow after 50 years of marriage. Also, I was still wrestling with my mother’s death in 2020. Before I was looking after Dad, I had been a full time live-in nurse for my mom as she died from cancer and dementia. Needless to say…I needed a break. I had been a full time caregiver for my parents for 2 years. The first 5 episodes of Salmonfolk Radio were my only creative output in all of that time. And honestly, I don’t even know how I had the energy to do that many.

By November 2021, I needed to have fun for a change. I needed recovery. Also…that’s an understatement! I desperately needed recovery time and space, and lots of fun. So that is what I did. I traveled the country starting in November 2021. I visited friends. My focus was on enjoyment, laughter, good times with good friends.

We all were just coming out of the pandemic. For most friends I was the first in house visitor that they had received in nearly 2 years. I had to relearn what normal felt like. Most of us did at that time. I eventually landed a job at the University of Vermont in Burlington VT. in Spring of 2022. I was teaching students how to become outdoor trip leaders. In my free time I could be found on the inland sea known as Lake Champlain. Crystal clear water with 20 feet of visibility. A former part of the Atlantic Ocean now marooned and freshwater. I did a lot of open water swimming and stand up paddle boarding. All the while I was aware of how there were landlocked salmon swimming in those waters. I then took a job that I had been dreaming of for about 30 years. I worked at a family owned ski resort and spent the better part of Winter 2022-23 on top of a VT mountain. I taught skiing and snowboarding, helped run the Rentals shop…I even worked as a lift operator. The season wrapped for me on April 2nd.

For the entire time I was driving cross country, or teaching map and compass to sophomores at UVM, or teaching hilarious kids to snowboard at the mountain…one project was tapping on my shoulder; Salmonfolk. When would I get back to it? When would I hit the magic recharge status for creativity? I am happy to announce that I am finally there. Conservation work stretches out before me and feels more critical than ever. After years of pondering Salmonfolk what became clear to me is that having an open runway would be important. I needed to find an artist in residency program…if possible. I targeted the end of the ski season as my start point for a program and set about self designing one. My goal? An entire month of Salmonfolk Radio work.

From April 30th – May 30, 2023 I am beginning a self designed artist in residency in Montpelier VT. I will be staying in a cute cabin on the edge of town, dog sitting some cute dogs and nothing but Salmonfolk…and the occasional morning yoga or SUP outing to clear my mind. I kind of can’t believe that I am finally doing this or that life saw fit to allow me to do so many wonderful things to recover from such a difficult past. But I am filled with gratitude that I am here and about to embark on this project once more.

The month will be focused hard on editing the already recorded content from 2021. I interviewed so many important activists and thinkers back then. And their voices and perspectives need to be heard. The relevancy of these interviews is likely even more poignant today. I have also had many new listeners report back to me about how much they enjoyed the first 5 episodes that have been out there since 2021. This has also been very encouraging. I have had 18 year olds tell me that after listening…they will never eat farmed salmon again. One day I walked into the Rentals shop at my ski resort, after wrapping up an on snow lesson…and the entire staff was listening to Salmonfolk Radio over the main speakers while working! Their reaction? “I had no idea!” And that’s really the point. No one who isn’t doing the research would know the truth about how salmon is farmed. What’s also true is that once people learn how…they never want to eat farmed salmon again. As well they should not.

So it’s off to the races once more. After May I will still keep going on Salmonfolk. My goal is to find angel investors of some kind who believe in the work and the goal…so I can keep highlighting this globally important topic. This is obviously my first post in a VERY long time. I have a lot of catching up to do here in Salmonfolk world. This website, for example…woefully out of date. Old links to old Gofundme initiatives…missing information. The salmon farm map! Egads! That salmon map!!

Onwards! For Wild Salmon!!! If you would like to help me keep going on Salmonfolk 100% then at least one link still holds relevancy…you can be my patron. That’s the best way to keep me on task.

On another note, I have had a LOT of fun in general. And now I feel the imperative to do one thing…to only for work for conservation causes. From here on out my position is that conservation is where my writing, filming, podcasting and photography will be zeroing in on.