Tag: documentary film editing

Ritual and the Creative Fire

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A poet once wrote “there is more truth in the ashes, than in the standing house”. They meant that only what is true remains, after something intense occurs, like a housefire. And in the case of their poem, the context was that the family remained…even though the house no longer did.

Today at around 4 PM, after tackling some unexpected website issues, instead of editing the movie The Last Shark-I just stoked the woodburning stove, laid down in front of it like a dog and slept for two hours.

I had just received the final version of the Original Sound Track (OST) emailed from California from our composers. Earlier in the day I had received a long awaited piece of footage from South Africa featuring the deployment of exclusion nets on a beach there. These were the literal last two pieces of this documentary puzzle to be fitted.

I knew I had everything I needed to finish this project that has consumed my life since June 1, 2023. I wasn’t ready to just finish it without some kind of ritual. So…sleeping in front of the fire, in this secluded log cabin in the Vermont woods, was my way of approaching that. Because…how do you just finish something you have put so much of yourself into? You know? We live in a society with so few rituals to mark the milestones. I like to build them into my life as often as I can. Writing is one of them. And taking time to breathe, be and appreciate what has come before, is important for me to do, before I finish something.

This cabin is so fricking peaceful. I am at the base of mountains. Snow is on the ground. I can sing at the top of my lungs, as badly as I want…no problem. And I have been here before. I stayed here in March of this year. Back when Frankie (my Co-Director for The Last Shark) and I still didn’t even have the files yet from South Africa. Back when we had no idea what we were in for. I love a full circle and so being here is one of them. What has happened since March, is worth thinking about. And honestly, it’s been so busy I haven’t had much time to do that.

Since I left this house, I have done housesitting gigs or stayed with friends -while working on this movie in:

Burlington VT
Underhill, VT
Montpelier VT
Va Beach VA
Charlottesville VA
Chapel Hill NC
Palm Harbor FL
Carrboro NC
Wolfeboro NH
Bryson City NC

Wow. I have never made that list. No wonder I am SO tired of moving around lol. Geez. 10 locations in 8 months. Some of these locations are just a blur. All I can picture is my workstation config, where the transcripts sat on a table and the view out the window. Some places were essential. VA Beach and Palm Harbor were essentially on the ocean. I picked those places so that I could find inspiration for the movie-since it’s ocean specific. And those places really delivered it in spades. I went to the beach at least 30 times for swimming and sunset watching this summer and it was so needed.

I stayed and visited with a lot of friends. And I am more grateful for community and friendship than I ever have been. My sense of geography and spaces between places has compressed. Driving up and down the East Coast of the USA is now not even a “thing”. It’s like running to the grocery store.

Staying with this project for free meant turning down paid work, meant running down my savings account, meant risking everything financially. One major car repair, and no housing, would have meant disaster. If I had been injured, I would have had nowhere to stay and recuperate. I just can’t say enough about how much my life had to change in order for this movie to be made.

A friend of mine died last year. She was a close enough friend that I officiated her funeral in late 2022. She died young. Glioblastoma. She died about 5 months after diagnosis. Her name was Teala and though we argued about how she had included me in her Will…I am forever grateful to her for insisting on doing so.

This entire project, my side of it as Editor and Co Director…unfunded as it has been, was only possible because of her. She literally said to me “if you are uncomfortable with the fact that I am giving you money, then donate it to a charity OR why not use it for one of those movie projects about saving the planet that you never seem to have funding for?”

For me this is really the movie that Teala made happen. Without her help it would have taken another full year for me to afford to find the free time to work on this, while working full time on other paid gigs. That being said…using Teala’s money has been difficult for me to do. I would have only used it for something that felt crucial, impactful and life changing. So I have had to reevaluate all along if this was the right project to meet that standard. It has. Also how weird is it that this project would come into my life nearly the same month that I first met Frankie when she told me that there wasn’t any money to pay an Editor. I got the check from Teala and I could hear her wishes…and here we are now, nearly done.

Yes, her name is in the credits.

I thought about her everyday that I have worked on this movie. The connectedness of all things, even really hard things, is difficult to reconcile, when they also result in something overwhelmingly positive.

Frankie and I have been making a movie. That’s a statement of fact. But the movie started making its own way in the world, as in idea, long before the film existed. After all…I am the Editor, I would know…the movie isn’t even finished yet and people are already experiencing positive vibes because of it. More than any other film I have worked on; the interest, positivity, connections, and passion for the film have been building out before the movie has been seen. A phrase that Frankie and I hear so often is “being a part of this has uplifted me”. People talk about coming out of a hard time and feeling fired up again as they have joined the effort as collaborators and supporters. It has felt more like a movement, than just a movie. It’s just been so insanely positive and we’ve had to really take a lot of deep breaths. Because working on something that isn’t technically done yet…that’s already having an impact…means you really better deliver. And in my role, that’s just been like…yeah, sometimes that’s been really a wild experience to wonder if I will get it right. What kept Frankie and I feeling like we were on that right track was back when we showed some beta viewers the very first rough cut (and I mean it was ROUGH)…they cried. That was the first time we realized we had possibly stumbled across something unique. But I can’t stress enough that it didn’t feel like we made something. It felt like we found something that was there, just waiting to be discovered.

I want to talk about fire. Sleeping next to the woodburning stove made me think about how fire is so much a part of the creative process. What burns away is as important as what remains. To create something that deals so closely with such hard topics: death, species loss, extinction, the fear of humanity…this movie has been very hard to face. To tell this truth I have had to stay close to it, really close to it. Like-method actor close. It became common for me to be on the timeline in my dreams, moving between clips, looking at footage. I have lived and breathed and put myself into the experience from the shark’s perspective, into the perspective of any poor creature caught in nets that literally only exist due to humanity’s fear. We kill animals for all sorts of reasons. But this is the first time I have spent time so close to a topic where we are eliminating a species solely due to our fear. And that’s had a huge impact on me. So for me, making the movie is the fire and what remains is a hard truth about us. We are still largely driven by our fears. And we must figure that out.

I feel like this movie is so timely for that reason. I think we have made something that doesn’t blame anyone. To me, what we have made is a different way of looking at the human story. The one where we forgot, that we live in home, where we aren’t the only one’s there.

Art wants to happen. My mom was an artist. While taking care of her as her full time nurse in 2020, when she was dying from cancer, she did a TON of art. It’s this invisible thing that needs a voice and it needs someone to listen to it and shape it into something others can see. She did that well. So yeah…I am deeply grateful that I was able to take the last 5 months (the most intense editing months out of the year since the project began anew) and just focus on what what the story was, what it was trying to say. There were times when I was laying on the floor surrounded by scattered transcripts from about 17 different interview subjects and feeling like I was never going to be able to find the story that I knew was in here somewhere. Art takes time. And patience. And listening. Mom would have really loved this movie. Anyway…yeah…I think I am ready to do this thing.

It’s time to load in the OST onto the timeline in Premiere Pro and adjust the sound levels. I will drop in the Exclusion Net footage. I have some additional color grading on some underwater footage. But it’s pretty much there really. By this time tomorrow the movie will be done.

Wow and woah and here we go…thanks Teala. Thanks Mom. Thanks Frankie. Let’s do this thing.

Seeing in Color

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I swore that I would come to Atlas Coffee to just read this morning. But alas, my laptop was in my backpack by accident. I will still read. But I have to write first.

You’d think I’d be out of creative juice by now, but no. Because today, I am seeing in color for the first time in so long. Don’t get me wrong. Over the last 5 months I have had many incredible moments in nature. I have had so many amazing experiences along the way keep myself afloat as I edited The Last Shark. And I am not done yet, but I have turned the corner. I turned in the picturelock version to the composers last night. The Director, Frankie, who will be repping at the Premiere and other South Africa screenings, just landed in Capetown this morning. It’s hitting hard that this is a reality, that we have made it.

But back to seeing in color…as I pondered what drink to order at Atlas Coffee here in Charlottesville VA, I realized I was actually looking at the world around me. There is a thing that happens to you as you begin a project of this scope. There is a massive weight that settles upon you that will not lift until the work is nearly complete. It’s a wholly unique weight and no other work I have done comes close to how awful it feels.

I am reminded of a conversation I had with a wonderful guy named John Kim. John has since died, but he and I were in touch way back in my first heady days of film making. The very first project I ever did, he watched it while we were on a phone call and gave me feedback. He also shared his process of how awful it feels at the beginning of a project, how you are under this overwhelming cloud. John also worked in the big leagues. Editing for TV shows and outlets you would all recognize. He reported to me how, in his field, that he would create this beautiful and intuitively led edit…only to have it then chopped up and dumbed down by studio execs. He hated it. He felt like it was the death of creativity. But he seemed to live for the edits that he got to do and just found ways to live with how the higher ups were going to shave it down to a nub. That reminds me of how appreciative I am that on all the projects I have worked on, I have never had to do what John did. And he told me that. He told me to stay in the areas where I would not have to compromise the art for the profit. I have stayed true to that so far.

We talked about coming out of the haze, when you know you have wrangled a story out of the disparate globs. So today I am seeing in color. And I would have written to John to tell him about how glad I am to not have had to compromise. This project has been all volunteer and you get something wholly different out of a movie when profit is literally not a part of it. Everyone gives their best and they don’t feel compromised. It’s pretty fantastic. Money always has a cost. Essentially that’s at the heart of every conservation movie and lived experience.

Another thing I was reflecting upon was something Jay Siebold said to me just the other day. Jay is my sound guy for many projects. He heard about how many hours I was putting in and was like “hey man don’t underestimate how that amount of screentime will fuck you up”. In all honesty, I would say that I finished the hard parts just as I was hitting that very tipping point. I was starting to mindblank in the middle of spoken sentences, I was seeing things in my peripheral vision…it was definitely starting to impact my health. Ironically though I lost weight while working on the movie lol. I always had a standing workstation. So at the end of the day I would have stood for 12 hours while editing without a break. Mentally though, I was starting to decline for sure.

So today as I waited for my dirty hot chocolate order today I looked out and noticed birds, colors, people, cars, clouds, leaves and I realized how much, over the last 5 months that I have looked…but I wasn’t really seeing. The cloud is gone. It’s wild. I feel like running through the streets and shouting! It’s really fucking fantastic.

I am also here at Atlas this morning because I promised myself, while staying here in Charlottesville, that I would return to this coffee shop on a cool Fall morning. I made that promise to myself back in 2019. I drove by this spot my first time ever in this town. I was in the car, likely with mom and dad. I would have been driving. And we were on our way to one of the first consultations at UVA’s Cancer Clinic for mom. I recall so pristinely seeing this tiny taxi sized coffee shop off to the right. The windows fogged up from condensation so thickly I could not see inside. I only went in there once back in 2019. This place has seating for literally 6 people. That’s it! I had no place to sit back then, so I left- but vowed to rectify the situation. This morning, I literally woke up singing. Lighter. And the air was worth a hat and coat. The windows aren’t fogged but I am here to drink coffee and read a book for a while.

No more humble bragging about how much work there is to do on the timeline. I feel like I am just now realizing there is an entire world out here and wow. It’s a paradox right? You go head down into this narrow and isolated path, away from people, away from the world…in order to focus hard enough to make a movie that will impact people and the world around you. So strange. But so worth it-if you don’t take it too far. But also, you have to have a team of people around you. No movie is made alone. For me, my team was Frankie. I could never have made this movie without Frankie’s energy and enthusiasm and laughter. What also sustained me though was the 24 people who’s interviews I was editing and reading over and over and over and over. I have about 24 hours of interviews from shark conservationists locked into memory forever. And their dedication, up there on my screen, and in the pages of transcripts, kept me fired up for the project when I was struggling with the next steps…and event that happened nearly every day.

I don’t know how long it will be until I have the inner strength to muster another movie like this. It’s going to take a while til I feel full strength again. But yeah…at the end of the day, this movie is something I am immensely proud of.

Being a Writer

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It’s really frustrating to be a writer. You know? Because it means before anything creative you want to do -that isn’t writing-can’t get done until you write first. And that’s where I am today.

This morning was a huge ball of stressors on The Last Shark movie. Last minute challenges and changes and OMG moments that were not fun. It will make for a better movie but it was one of those things where I went from soundly sleeping to jolting awake with stress chemicals injected into my brain and scrambling to edit animations, narrations, etc.

So this morning, after putting out trashcan fire #5 I knew that I needed to write before I can work. I have a meeting with the composers coming up and true picturelock on the film has to fricking happen yesterday! I have so much to do. I looked at the calendar before the premiere and studied closely how many working days I have left when I am not traveling, etc. There is wiggle room but it’s really and truly coming down to it and there is no margin for error. No pressure though lol!!!

Also, as if that wasn’t enough, life has also seen fit to throw me a few new curveballs this last week and so it’s been a lot to deal with even besides this movie. I am emotionally wrung out. Even just staring at the screens for as long as I have can melt your brain but this additive has made things much harder. Yet, the work has to continue no matter what. The November 7th Premiere date looms large!

So I was standing there in the kitchen and realizing that if I don’t go write, I won’t be able to edit. I need perspective on my situation and life in general. Then I realized that I have barely had time to really feel into the facts of my life here in Charlottesville VA. I don’t actually live here at all. I was just staying here for a month to be near my dad and check in on him. I will be leaving here in less than a week to go somewhere else that I don’t live. This whole “I don’t live anywhere” thing really started right here in Charlottesville. And indeed, in many ways it began where I am sitting right now. You wanna see?

Quality Pie in Charlottesville VA is the first place I discovered to eat at in October of 2019. It’s what anchored me in sanity. I began coming to Charlottesville for one reason only. Mom was dying. I used to drive about 4 hours a day, every day, round trip- to deliver mom to the hospital at UVA’s Cancer Clinic for treatments. I was her sole live-in caregiver, much by accident. When her diagnosis happened my whole life shut down…all of my work stopped. I closed the doors on this company, The Video Slab, and my entire life circulated around mom’s three kinds of cancer, her combative dementia. I became her nurse for a full year to the exclusion of all else. But it started here nearly 4 years ago on October 21-2019. I would come to Quality Pie to chat with the regulars, to drink coffee, to eat cookies while mom was in her appt’s and I had some time on my hands. It was here that I found some small measure of solace. I got to feel like a normal person for tiny bits of time and chat with the chef about his recipes. I am sitting here right now while writing this in 2023.

I found one Charlottesville post on my IG from October 2019 month actually…here are screenshots…

Instagram Pic October 2019

So here I am again, visiting dad in the retirement community. The toll that taking care of mom took on me, during the pandemic no less…and then taking care of dad for a year thereafter…I definitely reached a point where I thought that I would never return to film making. I was through with it. I planned on deleting this website in fact. I never cared to see a Premiere Pro timeline again. Somehow film making as a way of art found me. This month I finished the release of Season One of Salmonfolk Radio podcast. And within the next two weeks (somehow) I will finish The Last Shark. I am wrapping up these projects in the place where my creative life seemed to end-yet now I am thriving creatively. In fact literally all I work on are creative projects that matter to me. I am making $0…but I am really fulfilled. Considering how low things were with mom back then, it’s not a place I expected to be in ever again. Life is so strange.

I guess I would say this: You can’t change what your art is. It has to come through you. And so, after writing, here at the end, I get my lesson. I get to see what’s true about me. With that, I think I can get back to work. Finishing this movie is what I am here to do. It’s just a huge full circle that took me 4 years to complete.

Recursive

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In my field of work, there are times when the truth can’t be talked about by those who I am interviewing. There are those who can’t even be involved on any level with a production for fear that they will lose their jobs, or that even their spouses will lose their jobs-job loss by association.

It’s happened in two of the movies that I have made: Bolin Creek Unpaved and 400 Feet Down. It has happened in the podcast series that I am currently releasing; Salmonfolk Radio. In these three instances I am helping others illuminate the truth about environmental concerns through interviews and filmmaking. The goal is always the same…bring these issues to light for an audience so that they can know the issues exists and how to do something about them. 

These issues need highlighting because there are people who will do anything to make money and the Earth is, so to speak, what they use to convert their greed into cash in their bank accounts. Some people are motivated by greed. Some already have more than they could spend in a lifetime. What runs greed though, is fear. Every hoarder runs on fear. If you’ve been in the home of a true hoarder, the stacks of dross, the 30 year old newspapers, the dust, the waste…it’s the same mentality that drives some of us to just collect more and more money. Fear of not having enough, fear of letting go.  The earth’s creatures, mineral deposits, are what stands in the way of the money making machinery. And the only thing that can stop this machine is when the truth becomes the monkey wrench. This requires people to talk about the truth…because those motivated by greed can’t find it on a map of the Earth any longer.

I am making these movies and podcasts about that machinery and the people who I am interviewing become the monkey wrench. 

Those who are motivated to protect, to rescue, to conserve. Somehow, they have slipped out of the monetary padlock. Yet, there are times when the truth can’t come out. In every documentary about protecting the planet I have worked on, there are moments where the camera and mic had to be turned off. And it was when the person I was interacting with said “this can’t be on the record…I could lose my job” or “I could be attacked if they knew I said this”.

Those moments and the things that were said…if they had been shared in the film or podcast, would have been silver bullets to the werewolves. When you sit down with someone for a feel good documentary about doing the right thing and they look at you and say the truth only when it’s off the record…it really shows you, so starkly-what the world of human relations is really like. It’s so recursive.

The reason I am making the documentary is the same reason that the person can’t come forward. 

The documentary is needed because there are people who can’t tell the truth without facing consequences…monetarily, physically…possibly both.
I am trying to tell a story about how to reverse damage to the very home we live upon but  every environmental story is really a tale of people vs people.

Recursive.

Until we figure out how to escape these shackles…

I think a lot about door locks. On every house. On every car. On most doors to buildings. We say that we live in free societies. We talk about community. Every time I see a door lock I know we haven’t gotten there yet. When you are a person who needs protection from other persons…I don’t know how we call ourselves free at all. It instead only happens in small pockets, micro scale.

I am writing this due to a recent development in my work on the story of The Last Shark.  It’s a documentary movie about one of the main sources of the disappearance of the Great White Shark off the coast of South Africa. Spoiler Alert: It’s people.

I am Co-Director and Editor. And for the 3rd time, since starting work on this movie, I have had to wrestle (today) with the fact, that for others to be involved in this production, they run the risk of experiencing bodily or financial harm.

And it’s because of people. People who have are driven so powerfully by fear that they would seek to crush the truth spoken by others. And that’s recursive. Because what it really shows about the oppressors is that the truth in them has been crushed already.

It’s easy to read this and think that I feel crushed under the weight of being close to these heavy topics. Beaten down and wanting to give up. That is there for sure.

But what I get to do in my work is be close to people who want to tell the truth. And that fucking matters. It matters. Whether they go on record or not isn’t important to me. The point for me is that I get the privilege of interacting with people who take the time to observe, think and care about what is happening around us.

What I also have observed, through the films I have worked on and the podcasts…is that even if the fearful many have the numbers…it doesn’t take more than a few honest voices to help dispel that fear and get people back on the right course.

In closing, the theme of this writing is fear and the word “recursive”. It just occurred to me now that recursive is an adjective that one could use to define how fear works. I think only truth can break that cycle.

The Last Shark is a movie about protecting the Great White Shark. I can’t think of a more feared creature than Great White Sharks. So dispelling and overcoming fear is truly the topic of this film.

Me and Joshua Slocum

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Today’s post is written from the Starbucks in Freeport Maine. I didn’t want to come into town. My perfect perch right along the sleepy bay covered with swirls of white and black stone with hair and beard made of seaweed didn’t want me to leave. But it’s June 5th in Maine and raining constantly and…it’s only 51 degrees.

Things are getting rather damp inside of my tent! I needed to dry out and send a few emails. I also needed to update this website blog as to where things are.

Today’s post is specifically inspired by Joshua Slocum and his sailing sloop, the Spray. I knew I’d be stuck inside my tent for my whole stay, based on the weather reports. So I went to the local bookshop and picked up something, anything, to do with the ocean. I didn’t want something serious. After spending the entire last month focussing on editing 14 episodes (Spoiler Alert: I finished!!) of a podcast related to some difficult environmental topics, I just wanted something escapist to read. I also came to the coast of Maine to be near where salmon used to thrive. I wanted to put my feet in the water in a place connected to where they should be, as a reminder of why I do what I do. So a good book about the ocean seemed fitting. This terrible and good passion (Salmonfolk) has taken me over it seems and I do need time to rejuvenate and a sense of place is important. I put my feet in the cold Maine water and think “salmon need to return here” and thought about how much we don’t even know what they brought with them, when they were here: The sense of returning. The promise of the long view. The long count. All things sorely missing in modern society.

I digress. Sorry. I do that a lot. Slocum…that guy solo sailed around the entire globe in the late 1880s in a boat about 35 feet long. I read in my tent late into last night, sleeping back damp, my feet just wouldn’t dry out…the rain hammered, I could hear the ocean gurgling around the large blocks of stone on the shore nearby. I wondered a lot how Joshua and The Spray were probably never quite dry either. Man…what an adventure. He was also 51 years old when he set out. I am 51 and setting out on this strange adventure. I am houseless. I do petsitting currently to keep my costs super low so any money I make can go straight towards conservation work, Salmonfolk and a few other side projects. I go where the long term housesitting gigs are up and down the East Coast of the USA. It also makes it so that IF I ever get real funding to travel and interview and film then I can go.

Reading through this book made me feel a bit better. I love what I do but yeah…doing a thing you don’t see anyone else doing (living houseless to focus on saving salmon) can be a lonely thing. I will now just pretend I am at the helm of The Spray when feeling out of sorts. However I will make sure to not take Slocum’s other journey…after he returned from sailing around the globe, he later headed for the Orinoco River and never was seen from again. Noted: I will avoid the Orinoco.

So the cat is out of the bag! Yes. I finished!!!!

It feels so amazing to have hit my high water mark for the project. I gave myself one month to finish Season One and I made it with about 24 hours to spare before I had to move to my next house. What is next for me? Now I shift into the zone of seeking funding for the sound design and sound mastering that is critical to making this podcast the best it can be. I have an amazing Sound guy, Jay Siebold. And he produced the existing 5 episodes you can hear on any podcast app but if you don’t have a fave app (or any) then you can easily listen HERE So I will be now be working on securing those essential funds. I have to tell you though…these remaining 14 episodes are just…just!!! I can’t. It’s too hard to describe. You will just have to listen!

Meanwhile, in case you haven’t heard enough from me, here is one more episode from Youtube that I think will interest those of you who wonder how I do the work.

Extending Residency

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Today has been…phew…what has it been? On top of being creative in all sorts of other ways, I am, most unfortunately, also a writer. Not like a famous writer. No no. I assure you. I am the worst kind of writer. I am the kind who has to write in order to process things. It’s like a curse. Always having to write to figure things out. Grab some coffee, this is gonna take a minute.

First of all I like to listen to Kpop when I write. Also you will probably enjoy reading this more if you turn off your punctuation and grammar filter.

Right now I am listening to “EXO 엑소 ‘으르렁 (Growl)’ MV (Korean Ver.)” You are welcome for that link. Enjoy.

Okay so…the podcast. Right? The whole big thing I have set aside this month for. From April 30th-June 4th I had (notice the past tense usage there) set aside this time to finish Season One of Salmonfolk Radio. The remaining content beyond the 5 episodes already released has been languishing on hard drives. Some of that content has been dusting over since 2018…some of it newer content from 2021. I have good reasons for why so much dust but that’s not the point of this post. I am only looking forward.

I know when I am onto something good. I know when I am in possession of something that changes people’s lives. I am not bragging because I am not talking about myself. I am talking about the people who gave their time to me. To be blunt, they are brilliant human beings. These are people you need to know about. They are just looking at the intersection of the natural world and global capitalism and human nature in such relatable and unusual ways. I am so humbled that they spent time with me, a relative stranger (and my cameras and mics) towards the cause of getting fish farms out of the water.

Most of the material I have gone over since April 30th is material I have not heard since the day it was recorded-in 2018. And it’s just…GOD…it’s SO good!! I had no idea until now. I had forgotten how rich it all is. I find myself thinking “holy shit…people need to know about this!”

I have Episodes 6-8 done! I am not releasing any of the new episodes though until I have full funding for sound mastering. So done…but sorta not quite done. My side of the job at least is done there. I am working on Episode 9. I think Season One will end up having about 16 episodes. And everyone dang one of them worth your time.

I have been a veteran now of many enviro campaigns. I have interviewed so many other long haul enviro folks. They all have one thing in common: longevity. It takes years or even decades to make change happen.

I look at the calendar and see June 4th looming-and I know that’s not long enough.

I also know that after June 4th I currently have no idea where I will be living. Money isn’t awful. I have some small amount in savings and I have some very small side jobs trickling in. To keep my costs down, so that I can run off my savings for as long as possible, I am housesitting and petsitting. It’s how I can afford to do what I am doing this month.

I can mostly finish Season One by June 4th…(minus the sound design and mastering) but that is not what it takes to have this podcast be heard by enough change makers. What I need is time for these things to happen:

  1. How to best market and gain listenership for a podcast that has global implications. Seeking someone who has experience connecting with larger players in the world of podcasting.
  2. How to best approach companies for sponsorships, build alliances. This podcast has interviews with fisherman, eco philosophers, scientists and activists from around the world. A lot of outdoor brands I think would want to be a part of the positive messaging. Oh..and it’s also a travelogue, so lots of outdoorsy explorations.
  3. Finding fiscal sponsors for this ocean conservation work so I can attract more donations.
  4. Network with fish farm fighters around the globe.
  5. Tie in the online world wide premiere of Being Salmon Being Human the movie on 11/3/2023.

My current dedicated $$ on hand? $0

My current committment to making all this work happen? 100%

Without an investment made in time spent, Salmonfolk Radio will not be able to do the work it needs to do.

I need longer than a month to make this all happen.

My plan now is to keep this “conservationist in residency” mission going for longer. My kids are grown. I am single. I am relatively healthy (no serious health care costs currently). I have a working car that is paid off. I have nearly zero debt. I am going to continue housesitting and petsitting gigs at least until the end of August. I just locked in a gig that will last most of August. Now to fill in June 15th til July 26th somewhere on the East Coast.

It’s kind of a big deal for me to let go of applying for “real” jobs…to hope that this all works out and I don’t end up broke.

It means not having employer sponsored health care. But when I consider the opposite of this…that is how the world doesn’t change. When we are all on that wheel of having to have the job, having to pay the rent, having to live that way and have those jobs that just don’t make anything of actual value—we unmake the world that we don’t have time to value any longer. And eventually it will be gone. So I am sort of jumping off into really embracing trying to do this differently. I am, for however long that I can, trying to restory my role here.

I am not special. There are thousands of people, probably millions, who would absolutely dedicate themselves to doing similar work. But this isn’t the kind of “work” that our culture values with $$. I just happen be free enough in my life, right now, where I can attempt this approach.

Well thanks for listening to my TedTalk. #rantover.

If you would like to help me stay on this path here is my Patreon.

Here is a screenshot of Episode 8’s timeline after I was done today!

Switching Over to Conservation

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To support my podcasting for conservation work then check out my Patreon!

September 6, 2021 was the last time I published an episode of Salmonfolk Radio, my podcast that is a critical part of Salmonfolk. This was not the last episode of the podcast, but it was the last time I had the energy, space/creativity/mindset required to work on this. What happened after September 6th that has so delayed more episodes? I was a full time caregiver for my father then. In November of 2021 Dad moved into a retirement community. I was tasked with and sold the family house. I dealt with massive amounts of accumulated “stuff” my parents had in tow after 50 years of marriage. Also, I was still wrestling with my mother’s death in 2020. Before I was looking after Dad, I had been a full time live-in nurse for my mom as she died from cancer and dementia. Needless to say…I needed a break. I had been a full time caregiver for my parents for 2 years. The first 5 episodes of Salmonfolk Radio were my only creative output in all of that time. And honestly, I don’t even know how I had the energy to do that many.

By November 2021, I needed to have fun for a change. I needed recovery. Also…that’s an understatement! I desperately needed recovery time and space, and lots of fun. So that is what I did. I traveled the country starting in November 2021. I visited friends. My focus was on enjoyment, laughter, good times with good friends.

We all were just coming out of the pandemic. For most friends I was the first in house visitor that they had received in nearly 2 years. I had to relearn what normal felt like. Most of us did at that time. I eventually landed a job at the University of Vermont in Burlington VT. in Spring of 2022. I was teaching students how to become outdoor trip leaders. In my free time I could be found on the inland sea known as Lake Champlain. Crystal clear water with 20 feet of visibility. A former part of the Atlantic Ocean now marooned and freshwater. I did a lot of open water swimming and stand up paddle boarding. All the while I was aware of how there were landlocked salmon swimming in those waters. I then took a job that I had been dreaming of for about 30 years. I worked at a family owned ski resort and spent the better part of Winter 2022-23 on top of a VT mountain. I taught skiing and snowboarding, helped run the Rentals shop…I even worked as a lift operator. The season wrapped for me on April 2nd.

For the entire time I was driving cross country, or teaching map and compass to sophomores at UVM, or teaching hilarious kids to snowboard at the mountain…one project was tapping on my shoulder; Salmonfolk. When would I get back to it? When would I hit the magic recharge status for creativity? I am happy to announce that I am finally there. Conservation work stretches out before me and feels more critical than ever. After years of pondering Salmonfolk what became clear to me is that having an open runway would be important. I needed to find an artist in residency program…if possible. I targeted the end of the ski season as my start point for a program and set about self designing one. My goal? An entire month of Salmonfolk Radio work.

From April 30th – May 30, 2023 I am beginning a self designed artist in residency in Montpelier VT. I will be staying in a cute cabin on the edge of town, dog sitting some cute dogs and nothing but Salmonfolk…and the occasional morning yoga or SUP outing to clear my mind. I kind of can’t believe that I am finally doing this or that life saw fit to allow me to do so many wonderful things to recover from such a difficult past. But I am filled with gratitude that I am here and about to embark on this project once more.

The month will be focused hard on editing the already recorded content from 2021. I interviewed so many important activists and thinkers back then. And their voices and perspectives need to be heard. The relevancy of these interviews is likely even more poignant today. I have also had many new listeners report back to me about how much they enjoyed the first 5 episodes that have been out there since 2021. This has also been very encouraging. I have had 18 year olds tell me that after listening…they will never eat farmed salmon again. One day I walked into the Rentals shop at my ski resort, after wrapping up an on snow lesson…and the entire staff was listening to Salmonfolk Radio over the main speakers while working! Their reaction? “I had no idea!” And that’s really the point. No one who isn’t doing the research would know the truth about how salmon is farmed. What’s also true is that once people learn how…they never want to eat farmed salmon again. As well they should not.

So it’s off to the races once more. After May I will still keep going on Salmonfolk. My goal is to find angel investors of some kind who believe in the work and the goal…so I can keep highlighting this globally important topic. This is obviously my first post in a VERY long time. I have a lot of catching up to do here in Salmonfolk world. This website, for example…woefully out of date. Old links to old Gofundme initiatives…missing information. The salmon farm map! Egads! That salmon map!!

Onwards! For Wild Salmon!!! If you would like to help me keep going on Salmonfolk 100% then at least one link still holds relevancy…you can be my patron. That’s the best way to keep me on task.

On another note, I have had a LOT of fun in general. And now I feel the imperative to do one thing…to only for work for conservation causes. From here on out my position is that conservation is where my writing, filming, podcasting and photography will be zeroing in on.

Plans

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Musings from a coffee shop sun splashed window in Lambertville NJ. I spent the night at a friend’s house here. In one week he is starting the move to Prescott, AZ. Which is wild. Because that is where we met, in 1993. He’s on the move now with his family of 4. I am on the move with…me. My camera gear. A head full of poems. A mind packed with coalescing strategies for how to make more online content and films regarding conservation issues. I just wrapped up a 30 year dream of working full time at a ski resort. It was heavenly and worth the wait. As of now I am gainfully unemployed. Roaming. Visiting friends and family up and down the east coast of the USA. That will last most of April. Then in May I embark upon an artist in residency where I will work on nothing else but editing the remaining 10 episodes of a podcast I started 1.5 years ago. Season One of Salmonfolk Radio will finally be out by June. After May, I have no idea of what I will be doing, where I will be living, what income will look like. If most knew how little I had in my bank account, they’d not think me sane for this plan. But life has plans. You know? I have been working 60 hour weeks nearly every week since May 15th. I am a tired boy. Sometimes you have to go with it. There is an open space in front of me and I need that. Everything is pointing in this direction. When that happens you won’t realize the reward unless you trust and go forward. You can’t obliquely trust. It has to be pointed or life isn’t worth it at all. A lot of this is informed by pragmatism. I have been on food stamps. I have been upper middle class. I have been handed huge sums of money. I have asked for money. I have seen fortunes come and go in my life and felt the tide ebb and flow enough to recognize when the tide is coming in. So perhaps this isn’t trusting of me at all. Perhaps I am just surfing this wave in nice and easy. 

The last time I was in this coffee shop was in December of 2021. Feels like a decade ago. When here last I had just completed taking care of my father, who has dementia and he had moved into a retirement community. I had my son with me and I was driving him to start his new post pandemic life in NYC. This was all about a year after mom had died of cancer and dementia. I had wrapped up being a full time caretaker for my parents for nearly 2.5 years when last sitting right here. 

Now it’s 2023 and that means that I have spent about 18 months free of that. I never thought I would make it out of my caretaking role. And yes, I am working on a book about it. And yes, it’s a worse reality than you are imagining if you haven’t been there yet. Indeed, surviving it and coming out on the other side of it and celebrating being alive again is better yet than anything I have experienced…besides the joy of having kids.

As I get closer to NC, where I used to live and made Bolin Creek Unpaved, the picture frame of my week there is filling in quickly. Things are heating up all over again. The town council (most of them) are hot (so hot!) to pave through Bolin Forest. Yes. In our time of runaway global heating and runaway deforestation…the self anointed environmentalists of Carrboro NC are trying to claim that paving through the forest is literally the best thing for the environment that they can imagine. It’s fucking…just fucking wild. So I have brought my mics, 3 cameras and am already storyboarding. When I am down here I will be teaming up again with old friends and non profits and creating content to help educate the locals. Which is frustrating. It’s honestly bizarre that you have to find a way to explain to your fellow human beings why paving through a forest is bad for the planet…but in this age of disconnection, that’s where we are at as a species somehow.

I will also be premiering Old School Stone while there. OMG. So stoked for that! John, the 84 year old star of that film will be with me in attendance. Or rather…I will be in attendance with him. He is the film. Though this film has conservation themes for sure, the joy of this film is that it’s all about the joy of exploring outdoors. I am not selling an idea. There is no call to action. It’s just pure outdoorsy fun told from a wise man’s perspective. This will mark my 4th feature length film premiere.

John is not young. Neither am I lol. We began filming in 2018. I am grateful that we are both alive for the premiere. Even if it only shows once in front of a live audience, I am grateful to have that chance. So excited!

Well…that’s about it. I am about to hit the road once more. More driving time means more thought time to plan sequences to film along Bolin Creek. More ways to inform the layperson about science in ways that makes them choose things that are good for themselves in this bizarre time of the disappearance of common sense and self preservation.

Yo, Where is Charlie?

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Right now I am listening to Hwa Sa “TWIT”. If you don’t currently watch Kpop, and the way that they edit and light videos in South Korea, you are really missing out. This week I was also blown away by an intro for Season 1 Episode 8, “The Widow” on Amazon. The music featured a song by Cage The Elephant. Even if you don’t watch the episode, just watch the intro until the music starts. What I appreciate about it, is that without a single word of narration, the visuals and the music show the true cost of where the materials inside of our cell phones come from. It’s ugly. It’s true. It’s powerful. It’s beautiful. It’s a good use of video.

Right now I am working and temporarily still bouncing around houses in Warren, VT. But (drumroll!) I have finally acquired housing in Plattsburgh, NY. Why? Why Plattsburgh? I admit, it’s not exactly a place people are flocking to live. It’s got an odd post industrial vibe for sure and needs a lot of work. But the rents there are so much lower than in Burlington. And Burly is where I will be mainly working on my non video stuff. From June til November I will be working at the University of Vermont full time on a very fun project. I will still be doing video work, consulting and non profit stuff. But I am very excited about finally having a place to put my feet up for a while. It also gets me closer to Saranac Lake and Mirror Lake. Two fantastic winter destinations that I adore.

The best part about living in Plattsburgh is the commute to work. I have to take a ferry to cross Lake Champlain. I like ferries almost as much as I like skiing.

Anyway, I have been busy working on making connections for my Caretaking: The Untold Story . I had a great convo today with a woman who has been working on the topic of dementia for decades.

I have also been starting to slowly envision where I want Old School Stone: A Climber Looks Back to go. I have a deadline…the Carrboro Film Festival is accepting submissions until August 1. My old mentor Bradley Bethel is the organizer. He helped me get my start in making a living by making short films and video editing. I don’t expect any special favors though lol..he’s a tough critic! But this is yet another film that has been on the backburner for far too long. John, the subject of the film, lives in Carrboro. If I can finish the film, and it gets accepted into the festival…and he can go and sit in that audience and watch it, that will be totally amazing. To be blunt, John is over 80 years old. I want to get this thing locked in while he can still totally enjoy it.

Finally I am working locally on a gig where I am helping someone do a major overhaul of all of their digital assets. They have roughly 50K images in their iCloud Photos. Yep. A lot. And they have images on various older phones and laptops and SD cards and so forth. What the mission is, is to take all of these images and organize them by year and then park them on a new 18TB NAS drive. NAS stands for “Network Attached Storage”. I have had to do so much with file storage and management during my time editing videos and photos, that I have developed a real knack for this kind of thing. I understand drives, all storage media formats, and can switch back and forth easily between Mac and Windows. It may sound like boring work, but I like it. And honestly tons of people are in my new client’s situation right? Who hasn’t lost control of where all their photos and videos are located?

Another highlight from this week was when I was interviewed for a podcast. Pic below…

Howard’s podcast is called Plant Yourself. We had a really great conversation. The interview isn’t live yet, but it’s coming! I will definitely post it here once it is ready. I think it may also be included in video format as well. He asked me a lot about process. About how and why I got into being a documentarian. It was really rad.

Soon I leave my housesitting gig here in Warren. Then I head south in early May to visit my dad. Then I will be in NC for nearly a month, visiting friends, my daughter. I will also be doing a bit of additional filming for Old School Stone.

I will also be taking a Wilderness First Responder (WFR) course with Landmark Learning. I am so so so psyched to be taking this class. The reason most of my work is centered around the outside world is because I spend so much time there. Just check out my Instagram for the proof of that. Being a WFR (again) has been a long time dream of mine. With the WFR I can be on ski patrol, lead outdoor trips, volunteer at medical relief shelters and be well informed for all my own trips, which are often in wilderness areas.

It’s hard to describe the relief of knowing that I will l finally have housing for 4 months. Yeah I am excited about having a place for only 4 months. That’s what happens to you when you are out here in this housing crisis madness…even 4 months in one apartment seems really exciting and miraculous.